My Protector

We live in a society where evil walks in our streets with pride and in no regards to others. When tragedy happens, it tends to bring manifestation out of people and they mock God. Since that tragic day in Texas last week, I have seen awful comments asking “why would God let this happen” or “that is not someone I would want to worship” or “what is prayers going to do.” I think people are so blind to the truth or they just do not want to hear it. If we do not listen to God, He will do what He can to get our attention and to turn our eyes to Him. I have dealt with my fair share of tragedy in my life and it turned my attention back to God and I want to share how.

With that, a little of my testimony about when I went down a deep black hole of depression. The year of 2021 was a horrible year for me. I hadn’t been going to church and if I did I was just going to check off a box. I walked around thinking that I believed Jesus died for my sins, I will go to church on Sundays and I will go to heaven. But boy was I wrong. God spoke to me the whole time, but I just wasn’t listening. I was too wrapped up in wishing I had what others had and getting drunk. I would always questions why bad people got good things and we would always try to do our best but nothing would ever go in our favor. We fought hard for what we had and I was just getting tired. But even through that, I still ran from God.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2021, I lost my uncle who I was closest to. It was something we were not expecting! So me, my sister, and my parents drove to Missouri to see my grandmother and to attend my uncles memorial. Little did I know what the rest of the year would hold. We had a great visit with everyone and I had made memories with my dad that trip that I will never forget. We got back home and was in mourning for my uncle. Do you think I turned to Jesus? No, I did not. Now we were at the end of March of 2021 and that is when I decided (against my advice) to give my dad his COVID shot. I was against this because he had already had many health issues and he never really went anywhere. I just told him to never touch his face before washing his hands. So I gave my dad his injection, not long after he starts taking a huge decline in his health. As you can imagine, I felt guilty from this. My sister takes him to the hospital where he passes about 2 weeks later in ICU. So this really through me over the edge. I was in a black hole that I just could not get out of.

After losing my uncle then my dad, my sister, mom, and myself wanted to load up the family and go see my grandmother in Missouri again. She had just lost 2 children back to back and she had also already lost 2 other children years before this. We had a lovely visit with her and it is something I will forever cherish because in June of 2021, we lost her. Her loss sunk me deeper in a black hole that I just could not get out of. And the whole time I kept hearing, “maybe you should go to church.”

Long story short, God got my attention and my love. I was in a horrible season and it is now a testimony that I use for His kingdom. Why am I sharing this? To debunk those that ask questions regarding why God “lets something like that happen.” I am shared my story because I feel God was trying to get my attention and I believe He has big plans for me.

God also gave humanity choices and the start of tragedy started when the fall happen in the book of Genesis when Adam and Eve ate the apple from the tree of knowledge. When sin fell on this earth, consequences of those sins also came. But through faith and hope we as Christians know we can get past the tragedy. We have to keep our eyes on Jesus and know that He knows all and being a true relationship builder with Jesus, we will get to see our loved ones again someday who were also true relationship builders with Jesus.

In ending, my relationship with Jesus has elevated so fast and He has taught me things about myself that I needed to work on so I can be more like Jesus. I want what breaks Gods heart to also break mine. I died to my flesh, picked up my cross, and started my walk with Jesus. Is it easy? No. Did we lose people? Yes. But to live out my purpose on this earth, I have to walk in boldness, courage, wisdom, discernment, love, peach, gentleness, kindness, joy, and self control. I want to be a carrier of His light, not one that puts water on others flame. I want to be a carpenter like Jesus by building my heart to align with His heart. Seeing people mock God used to make me mad, but now it just breaks my heart because I pray they knew Jesus. I pray they knew that He died on the cross for them even though He knew He would be mocked. I pray for all those lost souls and that I would be able to share my testimony and shower them with the love of our Father.

I pray you all have amazing days tomorrow, I pray you all have many blessings come your way, and I pray that you all feel the love from Jesus with a community that can hold you up.